Are you feeding him yourself?

If i had a pound for everytime i heard that sentence when Seb was small i would be a very rich woman.

I thought i'd do a little post on my breastfeeding experience.

During my whole pregnancy i wanted to breastfeed i read up on it, watched DVD's from the midwife and got myself some rather hideous feeding bras. Then he was born.

If you read my birth story you will know i had a section under general anaesthetic and that i couldn't hold Seb until the day after he was born as basically i was just not with it.
Anyway when i came round from my anaethetic the day he was born the midwife came to help me with breastfeeding, i can barely remember it, as i say i had just come round from the anaesthetic so i have to go by what Phil told me and that is that the midwife was getting stressed that i couldn't manage to hold Seb and that because of this i could only try feeding him while lying down and wasn't having much luck. So it was left like that.

Luckily Seb slept for most of that night while were in hospital and the next day he latched on for a few minutes. Great i thought, we've got it! He only has that feed but the hospital staff seemed happy with that.
That second night in hospital however was a nightmare. Seb cried and cried, he wouldn't latch on and i was getting really stressed as all the other babies were sleeping and i just couldn't comfort him. I rang the buzzer several times for help, they were busy, said they'd be back in a few minutes and never came. I kept trying to feed him but he wouldn't latch on. After several hours i asked if i could have some formula but was told no we don't provide formula oh and we're still too busy to help. I text Phil begging him to bring the couple of cartons and bottles we had bought 'just in case' as me and Seb were both pretty hysterical by now.

So Seb had his first bottle aged 2 days old.
Instantly i felt calmer and Seb relaxed in my arms. He also had his second bottle. We were let out that evening and once home i continued trying to breastfeed, the milk was there, i could see it, but 99% of the time he just wasn't interested and we both ended up getting stressed out, it hurt, my nipples were bleeding and it just didn't feel comfortable. I told the midwife that came to visit us of the issues we were having and she said thats just boys they can be lazy.

After a few more days the breast pump came out. Needs must! I have to say it was the most hilarious thing to use but Seb was taking my milk even though it was through a bottle.
And that was how we carried on until he was 3 weeks, he had a mix of my milk and formula(i couldn't pump enough for every feed). After about 3 weeks my milk dried up and that was the end of our journey.

I felt so guilty that i wasn't able to breastfeed him but i no longer feel that guilt, i did my best, he is happy, healthy and has thrived on formula milk.
When i have another baby i will try to breastfeed again but i won't be putting pressure on myself, if it doesn't work out then so be it.

Did you breastfeed? How was it for you?
xxx

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