Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Not everyone is happy to see the pink line

 If you have been watching recent the BBC2 series about midwives, you may have seen the episode a couple of weeks ago with an 18 year old girl who became pregnant in a new relationship and she was struggling to deal with her pregnancy. Now on twitter i saw quite a comments judging this girl, about how she got pregnant(i think they'd been together 6 weeks or something similar) and also because she wasn't overly happy and excited about being pregnant and seemed to not want her baby. 
I felt incredibly sorry for this girl and was really pleased when at the end of the programme she appeared to be doing a fantastic job with her little one. 

I think it can he hard sometimes for some people to understand that many people aren't overjoyed to be pregnant, roll back a few years and i probably would have judged her too...
 When i fell pregnant with Seb, i was most definitely not in the overjoyed camp. Me and Phil were not even a couple(we had been a couple a few months previously) and we both lived at home with our parents. My weekends were spent out partying and flirting and all of my wages went on clothes, shoes and make up. I had a nice easy life with no stresses, apart from what i should wear out that night,
When i peed on the stick, i kind of already knew what it would say, i don't know how but i just knew. I still did several tests, including a digital one in the toilets of my local shopping centre, i was alone for all of them and didn't have anyone to tell my 'happy' news too.
What did i feel? Upset and bloody terrified pretty much sums it up. I text Phil, and he wasn't over the moon either. It isn't how i planned my first child being conceived and we did consider all of our options carefully, i spoke to my doctors about both adoption and termination but i think deep down i knew whatever happened with me and Phil, i would be having the baby. 
When i told my parents(the most scary thing I've ever had to do) my dad said he didn't think i was that stupid. He had a point, i was in my mid twenties and had a nice easy life with no worries. I wasn't the kind of girl you'd stereotypically think would find herself knocked up with no partner. After the initial shock my parents were very supportive of my choice which really helped, i knew if i had their support it would be ok.

Me and Phil had alot of serious discussions and we decided that we would give it a go as a couple for our baby. Now i don't think this is the right option for everyone who is in a similar situation, it most definitely helped that we had previously been in a relationship with each other and that we were realistic that it may not work out, we also both had supportive families. I don't advocate staying together for the sake of the child to people in every situation as there are many many times when it is better not to do this(anyone who has ever seen Jeremy Kyle can attest to this!)
We stayed living at our parents and 'dated' then when i was about 6 months pregnant we moved into a flat together. Although we were both very excited about the baby, i did have days where i wondered on the hell i was doing and if it would all be ok.
Now 2.5 years later Seb is thriving, we are about to get married and our second baby is due in 10 weeks and we are stupidly happy, i can't imagine life without Phil or Seb.
 Pregnancy the second time around has been very different, although i was a little surprised(it happened sooner then expected!) i had none of the stress and worry i did the first time, everyone offered me their congratulations(this didn't happen the first time around) and we are overjoyed! 

Life has a funny way of working out for the best, what might seem like the scariest thing can turn out to be the best thing that ever happens to you.

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