Wednesday, 7 October 2015

Finding out the gender

Tomorrow we are finding out the gender of our baby and while I am hugely excited about the scan,  I am also a little worried about how I will feel (I am pretty sure it will be a third boy) as this baby will most likely be our last.

When I was pregnant for the second time I was open on here about my feeling of dissapointment when we found out we were having a second boy at our 20 week scan.  I adore my boys and can't imagine it any other way but yes I was sad.

Gender disappointment is a real thing and I for one think it is important to talk about it, so many people feel it but are scared to speak up, others sit and judge those who feel it.  On my birth group there have been so many posts over the last few weeks talking about this very issue, some people like myself feel a mild disappointment others find it harder. Some people really judge women on this issue and I have read some very harsh comments but honestly we can't help how we feel, of course nobody wants to feel this way.  Of course the most important thing is that we are carrying a healthy baby and we know how lucky we are to be carrying a baby at all but it doesn't mean we can't have other feelings too and with the gender dissappear mentioned comes guilt.
I can't speak for others but I can speak for myself and the sadness I felt. I am not sad to have my beautiful boys and in fact i would love to have another one to run around after. The sadness comes from not having a daughter, something which I have wanted and imagined for as long as I can remember, it's funny because I am not the type to go all princessy and pink if I had a girl, it is just something I imagined would happen, that I would have a little girl at some point.
So tomorrow while I will be thrilled if we find out that we are having another little boy, I will also feel a bit sad about the daughter I won't have and I think it is okay to acknowledge that.

Why not take a look at my other pregnancy posts? 

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